Welcome Dr. Presto
Welcome Dr. Preston Gantry
Inmate #6455
Inmate #6455DA04
Psycho
Appendix 1: Interview Transcr ipt
Psychological Evaluation
Appendix 1: Interview Transcript
RECORD OF CONVERSATION, 2/8/0000
TRANSCRIBED 2/10/0000
DR. GANTRY
Good mo
INMATE #6455DA04
Nervous.
DR. GANTR
Well, that’s understandable. But I’m going to do what I can to help you. Will you promise to an
INMATE #6455DA04
Yeah. I guess.
DR. GANTRY
Good. Thank you. Now let
INMATE #6455DA04
Um, I was at this party. They had t
touched it to a piece of paper dusted with the black, you know? So it would come in through your hands. So I
bathroom just waiting for the push. The bathroom was all white but the guy hadn’t cleaned it in a while, so I just sat looking at mildew until the
push came. It felt so goo
DR. GANTRY
Excuse me. Why the bathroom?
INMATE #6455DA04
You get more of a push if you drink a lot of water first. Even more if there are a lot of people doing it with you. Makes it a bit weird, sometimes.
Like, twenty people dr
DR. GANTRY
Hm. I can see how that might be awkward. Let’s get back to the Presence.
INMATE #6455DA04
You seem very interested in the Presence. Ar
DR. GANTRY
I have to respect your experience. Later, we may talk together about what it means. Right now, I just want to hear your sto
anything? A vision, or a hallucination?
INMATE #6455DA04
Black doesn’t usually make me se
and I could see in every house. I could see what people were doing. Black isn’t like that.
DR. GAN
Very interesting. I didn’t know that. So what happened next?
INMATE #6455DA04
I felt like there was someone in the bathroom with me. I turned around but
checked inside the shower. My hands and feet started to feel... full.
DR. GANTRY
Full?
INMATE #6455DA04
Like energy, pulsing. An
in, up my arms and legs, and the heat started to move out and when they met... Oh. It was so good, so good, like the best lover I ever had
moving inside me and my skin tingled everywhere. It was good but also scary, someone knocked on the door and I jumped out of my skin. I felt
like something else ha
party. It’s like I was watching the party. Moving around and saying hi to people but it wasn’t really me doing it. Something else had run into my
skin and “me” was just pressed up into a little corner of my skull. The something else wasn’t just inside my skin, it w
I felt all glowy and nerv
DR. GANTR
That’s okay. Just try to describe it as well as you can.
INMATE #6455DA04
Well, all that energy and heat, it’s suddenly focused in the midd
inside out and I can feel the whole planet. A little part of my brain can see that I’m at this party sitting on the couch bu
The planet is huge and it’s complicated and I can feel the ocean currents, diving down from the Arctic and the Antarctic and moving slowly and
then warming up and coming to the surface. I can feel a storm swirling across the water. I can feel mountains shifting and air moving and
snow melting. [stops]
DR. GANTRY
Yes?
INMATE #6455DA04
I can’t describe all the stuff I could feel. I can still feel it, a little. I’m in this thing. It’s huge and I’m huge.
DR. GANTRY
What is the “thing” you’re in?
INMATE #6455DA0
I start feeling itchy. It’s all the roads and buildings and stuff. They’re making me itch. Then I feel pinpricks of pain. All these little poisons,
dumping in rivers. Wells being sucked dry. They hurt. The air is full of stuff tha
DR. GANTRY
Maybe the “poison” was the drugs that you’ve--
INMATE #6455DA04
Then the thing I’m in notices me. It kn
me off the planet so it stops hurting. But that’s all right. I understand.
DR. GANTRY
That’s quite a hallucinati
INMATE #6455DA04
It wasn’t a hallucination.
DR. GA
Okay.
Did it…
INMATE #6455DA04
Did it what?
DR. GANTRY
<unintelligible>
INMATE #6455DA04
I’m sorry, I could
DR. GANTRY
<unintelligible>
INMATE #64 55DA 04
God? No fucking way. I heard another guy say that after he did the blac
thumpers who see God on the black, because that’s what they came for, you know? They feel this thing, and it’s big and scary and holy so they
call it “God” because that makes them feel safer, but nothing about the Presence is safe. Beautiful, yeah. But … I can’t think of the word.
“Merciless” maybe.
If that was God, we’re in a shitload of trouble.
[laughs]
DR. GANTR
You don’t think God can be merciless?
INMATE #6455DA04
Listen, I wasn’t going to t
you know, he had a sheep farm in New Zealand. Mostly the sheep just roam free, but in the sp
on them, get rid of the sick ones, shear the rest. That’s what the Presence is like. They’re here, checking up on this place, you see? And they’re
going to get rid of t
DR. GANTRY
Which is us.
INMATE #6455DA04
Right! Exactly! We’re the disease, and the Presence is here with t
DR. GANTRY
And you’re okay with that? It doesn’t scare you, or make you sad?
INMATE #6455DA04
Are you kidding me? I’m terrified. If you aren’t scared, you’re crazy.
RECORD OF CONVERSATION, 2/8/0000
TRANSCRIBED 2/10/0000
DR. GANTRY
Good morning. How do you feel?
INMATE #6455DA04
Nervous.
DR. GANTRY
Well, that’s understandable. But I’m going to do what I can to help you. Will you promise to answer me honestly?
INMATE #6455DA04
Yeah. I guess.
DR. GANTRY
Good. Thank you. Now let’s start with the night you started to feel what you call a “presence.”
INMATE #6455DA04
Um, I was at this party. They had this new thing. You got a little piece of paper and you swabbed your hand with some kind of solvent and then
touched it to a piece of paper dusted with the black, you know? So it would come in through your hands. So I tried it, I was sitting in the
bathroom just waiting for the push. The bathroom was all white but the guy hadn’t cleaned it in a while, so I just sat looking at mildew until the
push came. It felt so good I just sat there a moment.
DR. GANTRY
Excuse me. Why the bathroom?
INMATE #6455DA04
You get more of a push if you drink a lot of water first. Even more if there are a lot of people doing it with you. Makes it a bit weird, sometimes.
Like, twenty people drinking as much water as they can and stoned in some lousy apartment with one bathroom or something.
DR. GANTRY
Hm. I can see how that might be awkward. Let’s get back to the Presence.
INMATE #6455DA04
You seem very interested in the Presence. Aren’t you supposed to be telling me there is no such thing?
DR. GANTRY
I have to respect your experience. Later, we may talk together about what it means. Right now, I just want to hear your story. Did you see
anything? A vision, or a hallucination?
INMATE #6455DA04
Black doesn’t usually make me see things, you know? I did mesc for awhile and I had this one time where we were walking down the street
and I could see in every house. I could see what people were doing. Black isn’t like that.
DR. GANTRY
Very interesting. I didn’t know that. So what happened next?
INMATE #6455DA04
I felt like there was someone in the bathroom with me. I turned around but no one was there. I could still feel a presence, so strong that I
checked inside the shower. My hands and feet started to feel... full.
DR. GANTRY
Full?
INMATE #6455DA04
Like energy, pulsing. And then my spine started to feel hot. Like hot wax filling my spine from the inside. And then the fullness started to move
in, up my arms and legs, and the heat started to move out and when they met... Oh. It was so good, so good, like the best lover I ever had
moving inside me and my skin tingled everywhere. It was good but also scary, someone knocked on the door and I jumped out of my skin. I felt
like something else had filled up my skin and I was just riding around on it, watching. I walked out of the bathroom but it’s not like I was at the
party. It’s like I was watching the party. Moving around and saying hi to people but it wasn’t really me doing it. Something else had run into my
skin and “me” was just pressed up into a little corner of my skull. The something else wasn’t just inside my skin, it was outside, too. Everywhere.
I felt all glowy and nervous at the same time. Electric. I don’t know how to explain it.
DR. GANTRY
That’s okay. Just try to describe it as well as you can.
INMATE #6455DA04
Well, all that energy and heat, it’s suddenly focused in the middle of my body. And it expands into my chest, into my head, and then I’m turning
inside out and I can feel the whole planet. A little part of my brain can see that I’m at this party sitting on the couch but that’s so tiny. A speck.
The planet is huge and it’s complicated and I can feel the ocean currents, diving down from the Arctic and the Antarctic and moving slowly and
then warming up and coming to the surface. I can feel a storm swirling across the water. I can feel mountains shifting and air moving and
snow melting. [stops]
DR. GANTRY
Yes?
INMATE #6455DA04
I can’t describe all the stuff I could feel. I can still feel it, a little. I’m in this thing. It’s huge and I’m huge.
DR. GANTRY
What is the “thing” you’re in?
INMATE #6455DA04
I start feeling itchy. It’s all the roads and buildings and stuff. They’re making me itch. Then I feel pinpricks of pain. All these little poisons,
dumping in rivers. Wells being sucked dry. They hurt. The air is full of stuff that makes me cough. I hate it. It’s like I’m being poisoned.
DR. GANTRY
Maybe the “poison” was the drugs that you’ve--
INMATE #6455DA04
Then the thing I’m in notices me. It knows I’m the one that’s making the poisons. I’m the one that’s hurting everything. And it’s going to clean
me off the planet so it stops hurting. But that’s all right. I understand.
DR. GANTRY
That’s quite a hallucination.
INMATE #6455DA04
It wasn’t a hallucination.
DR. GANTRY
Okay.
Did it…
INMATE #6455DA04
Did it what?
DR. GANTRY
<unintelligible>
INMATE #6455DA04
I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you.
DR. GANTRY
<unintelligible>
INMATE #6455DA04
God? No fucking way. I heard another guy say that after he did the black, but he was just back from Bible Juvie. There are always a few Bible
thumpers who see God on the black, because that’s what they came for, you know? They feel this thing, and it’s big and scary and holy so they
call it “God” because that makes them feel safer, but nothing about the Presence is safe. Beautiful, yeah. But … I can’t think of the word.
“Merciless” maybe.
If that was God, we’re in a shitload of trouble.
[laughs]
DR. GANTRY
You don’t think God can be merciless?
INMATE #6455DA04
Listen, I wasn’t going to tell you this, because I know it just sounds crazy, but the Presence isn’t from here. They’re…visiting. My grandfather,
you know, he had a sheep farm in New Zealand. Mostly the sheep just roam free, but in the spring he would go up to their pastures to check in
on them, get rid of the sick ones, shear the rest. That’s what the Presence is like. They’re here, checking up on this place, you see? And they’re
going to get rid of the sickness.
DR. GANTRY
Which is us.
INMATE #6455DA04
Right! Exactly! We’re the disease, and the Presence is here with the cure.
DR. GANTRY
And you’re okay with that? It doesn’t scare you, or make you sad?
INMATE #6455DA04
Are you kidding me? I’m terrified. If you aren’t scared, you’re crazy.
Addendum