Jan 10, 0000

When my gran
journal instead of paying rent. I was hoping he would learn something.
He did.

Just not enough.

When my grandson came to live with me, I told him he had to keep a
journal instead of paying rent. I was hoping he would learn something.
He did.

Just not enough.

“I wish I was dead. I wish I had a gun.”

Dad was in the bedroom m
that’s partly gone, he can feel like it’s still there and it

Mom was crying. Dad sai
the pain.

“I wish I was dead. I wish I had a gun, a gun, a gun, gun, gun, gun, GO

Hannah snuck out to join me on the couch in the living room and we watched VOX LateNite with
the sound off.

Mom got tired o
until mom busted out of the room in her sweatpants and a sweatshirt and bed hai
and got in the car.

I thought she was going away forever and leaving us with him. I didn’t know what to do. Dad kept
lying on the bed moaning that he wished he was dead an
that in the morning, we would pack up and hitch back to Bedford. We would stay with one of her
school friends. I could get a job and she could go to regula

I got it all worked out in m

“I wish I was dead. I wish I had a gun.”

Dad was in the bedroom moaning about how his back hurt and his leg hurt. He meant the one
that’s partly gone, he can feel like it’s still there and it hurts.

Mom was crying. Dad said he couldn’t stand it anymore. He said if only he had something to dull
the pain.

“I wish I was dead. I wish I had a gun, a gun, a gun, gun, gun, gun, GOD IT HURTS….”

Hannah snuck out to join me on the couch in the living room and we watched VOX LateNite with
the sound off.

Mom got tired of him bitching and moaning and then they really started screaming at each other
until mom busted out of the room in her sweatpants and a sweatshirt and bed hair and went out
and got in the car.

I thought she was going away forever and leaving us with him. I didn’t know what to do. Dad kept
lying on the bed moaning that he wished he was dead and he wished he had a gun. I told Hannah
that in the morning, we would pack up and hitch back to Bedford. We would stay with one of her
school friends. I could get a job and she could go to regular school.

I got it all worked out in my head, how we were going to manage. I was almost disappointed when
Mom came back. She had driven to the gas station and bought a 12 pack of beer for dad. She
dropped it on the bed and then she made Hannah go to bed and she slept in Hannah’s room.

I’m thinking about going back to Bedford on my own. I could just hitch.


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